That is off the mini album "You're 13, You're Beautiful and You're Mine". There you have it - a few years before Spinal Tap there was Cold Chisel having fun with pedophilia - that don't talk about that one much on the classic hits radio do they? Barnsey the molester? Nope.
Because BARNSEY'S A FUCKIN' LEGEND! Yes, yes there he was drunk, dressed up like a soldier- he never served obviously - but he loved those damned fatigues didn't he? Coming from a military family I found that rather odd, but dressing up it was - and he inspired more headbands then Bruce Springsteen on drunken suburban boys hoping to emulate their hero's fits of impassioned boozing , if not his heroic feats on the battlefield, for his country. Or Australia.
And it was odd that in 80's suburban Australia, it was regarded as terribly queer to dress up as anything - a mod, a punk, a skinhead, a culture clubber, a Duran Duran, but BARNSEY could get dressed up like a soldier no worries - you know why? Because BARNSEY'S A LEGEND! You poofta...
Now you are thinking - oh you are just bitter because the guys from Bankstown TAFE used to beat you up because you had short hair and a Midnight Oil t-shirt and you didn't like BARNSEY- LEGEND! (It was interesting to see the proliferation of Oils t-shirts around the TAFE about 18 months later when Garret had attained LEGEND status. It is also funny in retrospect how the guys in Judas Priest T-shirts liked to call other guys in not heavy metal t-shirts pooftas...look it up... but I digress)- but JUST BECAUSE I AM BITTER DOESN'T MEAN I AM WRONG (new blog title...).
I know - I saw Chisel live. At Newcastle Motordrome. 1982. And Chisel were a shambolic mess. Jimmy (Barnsey) (Legend) was drunk. They were not tight. And the sound was awful. But such was their reputation. Cold Chisel were either hot or cold - never mediocre - apparently.
I saw them on a cold day. And all I remember is BARNSEY LEGEND staggering around stage given us all a lesson in moral behavior- which has stuck with me - as I have never hit a woman. Barnsey (legend) told me not to. Probably good advice to a bunch of drunk minors in Newcastle, but now I am just being snobbish. (Divinyls were on the same bill - they too stunk up the place-always thought they were derivative - long before I knew what derivative meant- sorry Chrissy.)
And the songs- who needed Chisel when you could go and buy a Creedence record? Who needed to hear Barnsey (lgnd) screech his way through Knocking on Heavens Door when you could hear Bob Dylan screeching his own way through it? And Barnes(lg) as a soul singer?? Who in their right mind...I mean....Issac Hayes he was and is not- vocally anyway. I was lucky enough to have a big sister who liked the Supremes so I knew about Motown and was curios enough to have heard Otis Reding and Sam and Dave and some of the other artists that Bnsy (lg) named-checked as influences - why has Australia such a love affair for the mild copy version? Why would any one buy a Michael Bubbles album when you can buy Music for Young Lovers and Swing Easy by Frank Sinatra for like ten bucks from any cd shop?? How are Human Nature making a living playing a Motown Show in the USA??? C'mon!!! That is just embarrassing!!! It borders on racist!! HUMAN NATURE!! Playing MOTOWN - IN THE UNITED STATES and making a KILLING!!! It boggles the mind.If you don't know why this is embarrassing and you have any of Jimmy's soul albums and you don't listen to them for just comedic purposes - well I am surprised you can read and work a computer actually...
And you know the worst thing abut living in Australia and not caring for CHISEL?? KHE FUCKING SANH!!! I heard John Schuman do a 'new' version of the song by the same title on the ABC on Anzac Day. John Schuman has managed to point out what few Australians seem to recognize-and something that has struck me as odd for years- that the song is based on a myth, and almost a colonial myth at that, as there were no Australian personnel at Khe Sanh. A few RAAF aircraft ran support for American air-cover during the battle for Khe Sanh, but on the ground not one Australian soldier. MAYBE two truck drivers.
It always strikes me as odd that the only knowledge that a lot of Aussies in the front bar have of the Australian involvement in the Vietnam War is informed by two pop songs - Khe Sanh by Cold Chisel and I was only 19 by Redgum. Perhaps this is more an indictment of an Australian love of ignorance but the fact that Khe Sanh is historically innacurate seems only to annoy the Vietnam Veterens I know, who tend to dispise the US troops they fought with, but I digress.
And the other thing that I find funny - the propensity for the long haired fellows, arm-in-arm drunkenly singing along to Chisel, while labeling anyone not joining in as queer. The sad thing is I know every word to Khe Sahn. It has no chorus. It is a failure as a pop song- AND IT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD DAMMIT!! Maybe that is why it is such a successful pop song now I think about it....
So in conclusion, what have we learned here today? I have deep issues, BARNSEY (LEGEND) is not a good singer and Frank Sinatra CDs are cheap and plentiful.
Let's campaign to make Barnsey's birthday at KHE SANH free day when all Australian's can listen to the radio without fear of hearing Khe Sanh. Or Choir Girl- that song really sucks.
I await the hate mail....
(but before you do read this: http://www.limina.arts.uwa.edu.au/previous/volumes_15/volume_4?f=73961)
