Capitalism - can't live with it, can't live without home delivery...

I know that there is a lot to be worried about right now. London riots. Looming global recession. Stock market crash. Tony Abbott being....well Tony Abbott. But there is something that in particularly ticks me off right now. The idea that people shop on-line to avoid GST.

I am an online-shopper. Been so for while. Started in about 2001 when I purchased the re-release of Pet Sounds that has the full mono mix and the stereo mix on the same disc. With a bonus track of "Hang On To Your Ego" - because it was not available in Australia at the time-or at least it was available but only as part of one of those super geeky completest box sets of every toilet flush Brian Wilson made during the Pet Sounds sessions or something. Anyway it was over $100 Australian for the box set or US$20 to buy it on line. So I bought it on line. And I love it. Still play it. Played it every day for a year. (Ok maybe I am a geek....).

Probably the reason why I also purchased the second set of Twin Peaks DVDs from Amazon. The local version was not only more expensive- it was released as two separate packages that had a combined cost of more than the complete US release. And the local version had less bonus material - only half of what was on the US release. And dammit- I wanted ALL those Log Lady intros!

So my choice- I could buy the local version and get less for more - or I could buy the overseas version - and this was when the exchange rate was about .75 cents and still get more for less. So I would like to point out - I do not buy things on line to avoid tax- In fact I can still pay the tax and be ahead of the game. And it is not only the money - it is the fact that the overseas product is better.

The typical busted-arse Australian attitude of "she'll be right" let's move the Sopranos around to any time slot we want because it is on so late it doesn't matter that one of the best TV shows ever is out of sequence and impossible to tape and on at sometime between 1.00am and 2.00am, screw the geeks who watch it as long as we get to put Mclouds friggin' Daughters on at the right time is alive and well and no damn wonder I watched the last series downloaded from the net. What was I saying?

That's right - I am not doing it to avoid tax- I will pay the tax. I can pay the tax and still come out ahead - the fact is - the stuff is better. Clothes from overseas are better. Not only better quality and cheaper, but they fit.

I can buy jeans on-line that are about one third of the price they are here, but they are the right length- I do not have to go to a tailor and pay an extra $20 to get them taken up. Shirts that have a collar size that does not assume the rest of me has the arm length of a bonobo and the desire to have a chest pocket under my rib cage.

That is what Capitalism is supposed to be I thought- the market decides - the consumer gets what the consumer wants. Choice! But listen to this self important clown says about the recent Australian Productivity Commission report that suggests that internet shopping should be subject to GST (currently it is GST free for goods worth less than $1000) although it is currently uneconomical to do so :

"Australian Retailers Association [NRA] executive director Gary Black says the report represents "some hope" in the retailers' "battle to get a level playing field"." (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-08-04/productivity-commission-gst-review/2824788) and he goes on further to worry about the Australian jobs lost because people are shopping on-line. "If nothing is done 80,000 jobs will be lost in the next five years and the commission needs to factor in these costs and consequences."

Level Playing Field?? Job Losses??? Gary - mate- my pocket is getting wet here and I don't think it is raining. Is he and the members of the NRA worried that much about the Australian manufacturing industry? Why can't I buy an Australian made shirt? Or shoes? Or jeans? Because they are all made OVERSEAS! And why are they made overseas? BECAUSE IT IS CHEAPER TO DO SO!!! They are all for free trade when it benefits them but not when it benefits the consumer who wants to pay $100 less for his Beatles box set. (Sorry JB Hi Fi).

So they NRA members can manufacture overseas at the direct cost of Australian jobs but when the consumer does EXACTLY the same thing FOR EXACTLY the same reason - we consumers are suddenly all tax cheats who are putting people out of work!

So the banks want a government hand out when they screw things up, and that is ok, but I am bad person for buying my books overseas- at the cost of the Australian publishing industry that threatened there will be "no more Tim Wintons" unless we keep paying exorbitant costs for books. No more Time Wintons?? Is that a threat or a promise?? If that was a guarantee I openly implore everyone in the country to go to the Book Depository and order a book.No more self important, long haired, over hyped hippies from Western Australia writing 'spiritual' soft crap? Wow- what a loss.

Or is that what Capitalism is really about? It is ok as long as the people with the money are making the money- but when we do get an actual 'level playing field' - well we can't have that! My monopoly has been threatened - my little barony of editorial power has been taken away- my children can only go skiing twice in Europe this year if you don't pay more for the jeans I am selling- that don't fit you right anyway, but you should be gratefully supporting Australian jobs - in a way that we never had because we get everything manufactured by political prisoners in PRC - who are ironically enough probably in prison because they don't like the Communist Party...who we don't like either because they dictate to people where to shop, and they don't give them access to markets or let them make their own personal decisions and they can't distribute products effectively or efficiently to where they are demanded and they want the state to bail out their failed industries... and wait a minute..isn't that just like...

I hate Cold Chisel-the truth at last...

I am not sorry and I will not apologize. I said it. I realize that I am Un-australian, but frankly - for my tastes -they are over rated. I don't care for them. Flame Trees is a good song, Forever Now is ok. Star Hotel. But really after that? What's the one about Astrid? That rocked.

That is off the mini album "You're 13, You're Beautiful and You're Mine". There you have it - a few years before Spinal Tap there was Cold Chisel having fun with pedophilia - that don't talk about that one much on the classic hits radio do they? Barnsey the molester? Nope.

Because BARNSEY'S A FUCKIN' LEGEND! Yes, yes there he was drunk, dressed up like a soldier- he never served obviously - but he loved those damned fatigues didn't he? Coming from a military family I found that rather odd, but dressing up it was - and he inspired more headbands then Bruce Springsteen on drunken suburban boys hoping to emulate their hero's fits of impassioned boozing , if not his heroic feats on the battlefield, for his country. Or Australia.

And it was odd that in 80's suburban Australia, it was regarded as terribly queer to dress up as anything - a mod, a punk, a skinhead, a culture clubber, a Duran Duran, but BARNSEY could get dressed up like a soldier no worries - you know why? Because BARNSEY'S A LEGEND! You poofta...

Now you are thinking - oh you are just bitter because the guys from Bankstown TAFE used to beat you up because you had short hair and a Midnight Oil t-shirt and you didn't like BARNSEY- LEGEND! (It was interesting to see the proliferation of Oils t-shirts around the TAFE about 18 months later when Garret had attained LEGEND status. It is also funny in retrospect how the guys in Judas Priest T-shirts liked to call other guys in not heavy metal t-shirts pooftas...look it up... but I digress)- but JUST BECAUSE I AM BITTER DOESN'T MEAN I AM WRONG (new blog title...).

I know - I saw Chisel live. At Newcastle Motordrome. 1982. And Chisel were a shambolic mess. Jimmy (Barnsey) (Legend) was drunk. They were not tight. And the sound was awful. But such was their reputation. Cold Chisel were either hot or cold - never mediocre - apparently.

I saw them on a cold day. And all I remember is BARNSEY LEGEND staggering around stage given us all a lesson in moral behavior- which has stuck with me - as I have never hit a woman. Barnsey (legend) told me not to. Probably good advice to a bunch of drunk minors in Newcastle, but now I am just being snobbish. (Divinyls were on the same bill - they too stunk up the place-always thought they were derivative - long before I knew what derivative meant- sorry Chrissy.)

And the songs- who needed Chisel when you could go and buy a Creedence record? Who needed to hear Barnsey (lgnd) screech his way through Knocking on Heavens Door when you could hear Bob Dylan screeching his own way through it? And Barnes(lg) as a soul singer?? Who in their right mind...I mean....Issac Hayes he was and is not- vocally anyway. I was lucky enough to have a big sister who liked the Supremes so I knew about Motown and was curios enough to have heard Otis Reding and Sam and Dave and some of the other artists that Bnsy (lg) named-checked as influences - why has Australia such a love affair for the mild copy version? Why would any one buy a Michael Bubbles album when you can buy Music for Young Lovers and Swing Easy by Frank Sinatra for like ten bucks from any cd shop?? How are Human Nature making a living playing a Motown Show in the USA??? C'mon!!! That is just embarrassing!!! It borders on racist!! HUMAN NATURE!! Playing MOTOWN - IN THE UNITED STATES and making a KILLING!!! It boggles the mind.If you don't know why this is embarrassing and you have any of Jimmy's soul albums and you don't listen to them for just comedic purposes - well I am surprised you can read and work a computer actually...

And you know the worst thing abut living in Australia and not caring for CHISEL?? KHE FUCKING SANH!!! I heard John Schuman do a 'new' version of the song by the same title on the ABC on Anzac Day. John Schuman has managed to point out what few Australians seem to recognize-and something that has struck me as odd for years- that the song is based on a myth, and almost a colonial myth at that, as there were no Australian personnel at Khe Sanh. A few RAAF aircraft ran support for American air-cover during the battle for Khe Sanh, but on the ground not one Australian soldier. MAYBE two truck drivers.

It always strikes me as odd that the only knowledge that a lot of Aussies in the front bar have of the Australian involvement in the Vietnam War is informed by two pop songs - Khe Sanh by Cold Chisel and I was only 19 by Redgum. Perhaps this is more an indictment of an Australian love of ignorance but the fact that Khe Sanh is historically innacurate seems only to annoy the Vietnam Veterens I know, who tend to dispise the US troops they fought with, but I digress.

And the other thing that I find funny - the propensity for the long haired fellows, arm-in-arm drunkenly singing along to Chisel, while labeling anyone not joining in as queer. The sad thing is I know every word to Khe Sahn. It has no chorus. It is a failure as a pop song- AND IT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD DAMMIT!! Maybe that is why it is such a successful pop song now I think about it....

So in conclusion, what have we learned here today? I have deep issues, BARNSEY (LEGEND) is not a good singer and Frank Sinatra CDs are cheap and plentiful.

Let's campaign to make Barnsey's birthday at KHE SANH free day when all Australian's can listen to the radio without fear of hearing Khe Sanh. Or Choir Girl- that song really sucks.

I await the hate mail....

(but before you do read this: http://www.limina.arts.uwa.edu.au/previous/volumes_15/volume_4?f=73961)